My girlfriend and I broke up four months ago. It started with my fear of commitment and ended with me sobbing in front of my television watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I think the 60″ screen actually increased the level of sadness in the room. It was a rough time. It still is.
One thing I really had to look forward to was what I was going to do with all the new “me time” I gained. I felt like that guy in the Twilight Zone who survives a nuclear holocaust and realizes he can spend the rest of his life reading without interruption…until his glasses break. That episode always hits me on a personal level. It makes me feel like the bad guy for wanting time to myself. Like I’m finally going to get it and then not be able to do anything because fate favors people who socialize a lot.
To ensure this didn’t happen after my breakup, I developed a list of things to accomplish during my time alone.
1. Write that album I was always talking about recording.
2. Learn French.
3. Restart my blog.
4. Learn how to write code and develop an independent video game for iOS.
So far I’ve done very little of each. Instead I’ve filled my free time with other things…
1. Beat Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze in a day.
2. Watched a wide variety of movies including, but not limited to Michael Bay’s The Island and Starship Troopers.
3. Completed every episode of Breaking Bad: Season 5 in a single sitting.
4. Made a nightly habit of flipping between Twitter and Facebook to keep up with lives far more interesting than my own.
I feel like there is so much in front of me I could be doing. I just can’t bring myself to do it because I’ve metaphorically broken my glasses. I’ve entered a personal funk.
Here’s hoping I find a way to fix my glasses soon.
I just ran that metaphor into the ground.