I found a strange lump on my limb,
At the doctor’s I showed it to him.
He said, “Just to recap,
That lump is your kneecap.”
And now my condition’s not grim.
My girlfriend was sharing her Coke,
When she started to cough and choke.
I spit out the Cola,
For fear of Ebola.
She was only laughing at a joke.
I awoke to a real dreadful scare.
I saw herpes had started to flare.
How did this emerge in
these parts of a virgin?
Turns out it was just ingrown hair.